ianbee: this is instead of getting a dog

Random cycling event

Seeing the Tour de France all over the telly has reminded me about when I accidentally stumbled upon a cycle race earlier this year. I was in Genoa, just for a day. I don't know who was riding, or where they had travelled from, but they whooshed through the city and finished the race at the top of a hill, which seemed a bit harsh.

There were three girls in short skirts helping hold the winners onto the podium. A guy in a stripey top told them what to do.

In the hours before the race finished they let little kids cycle up and down the closed streets, which was nice.

Despite watching many hours of the Tour de France last year, I still don't really understand it. Lots of riders who are taking part aren't even trying to win, they're just helping someone else win by cylcling slightly in front of them. And they wear different coloured tops depending on who is in the lead, or is best at hills. And there remains the awkward, unanswered question about what they do if they need to wee during the race. It's all a mystery. Anyway, here are the winners of what appears to be The Colli Cup! I think the second place cup looks better than the first place cup.

All Blacks rugby training

I wish this was fake. Unfortunately it probably isn't.

Cricket

Australia v Pakistan. The second test. Headingley stadium, Leeds.

The view from my bedroom window.

 

The view from the stands.

 

The view of victory.

I don't remember him smiling ...

Evil gym lady

I've joined a gym in Leeds, and today I met with an evil gym lady to work out a programme. Looking back on previous posts I have come to the conclusion that the women instructors are the most evil. Today my theory was confirmed with the worst, most painful gym session i have ever had.

We started off rowing (which I can do) and talking about my goals. I am able to row and talk simultaneously so my confidence was up. I found myself lulled into a false sense of security. so that when she asked me what my weaknesses were, and I foolishly said "stamina and pace", I failed to notice the evil twinkle in her eye.

It's true, I tend to amble between the weight machines whilst listening to the Radio 4 Comedy Podcast on my iPod and chuckling away to myself. Those heady days are over. Now I weep in the TEN SECONDS I have been allocated to RUN between the machines. After the first set of exercises* I confessed I felt nauseous and she kicked a fellow athlete off a bench so I could sit down and breathe.

The session concluded with stretches. Apparently I am flexible yet stiff. The way to fix this, I now understand, is to have someone try and snap your legs off whilst telling you to "loose the panic face and show the happy face".

The way out is down a flight of stairs, which almost defeated me. I mean, what kind of workout leaves you too tired to walk DOWN stairs afterwards?

* one minute's sprint, followed by 10 vertical pull-ups, 12 burpies, 12 horizontal pull-ups and a cluster of some kind of cruel press-ups which you do on your elbows.

Luge and Skeleton U-turn

Not literally, I don't think the track is wide enough. And you'd be going uphill. Rather, I have been watching a bit of the Winter Olympics and I have changed my mind about the luge and the skeleton. They are brilliant races; fast, exciting and dramatic. And the best bit of all is when they crash into that big concertina of foam at the end to slow them down. That looks so much fun! That must have been what was missing in 2006.

The un-Haka

After a week of leaving the house everyday for work at six am (see photo above), it's great to have the whole weekend off. Yesterday I went to see the All Blacks play Australia at the Olympic stadium.

I really didn't care who won, but the lead changed hands three times in the last few minutes, which is always exciting! When the All Blacks were two points behind, a very drunk Australian behind me shouted out "Have you got a haka for looooooosing? Is it called ... (he clearly hadn't thought this through) ... um ... the un-haka? Show us your un-haka!" At which point the All Blacks kicked a penalty and sealed the match.

In the face of an increasingly grubby flat I have decided to get in a cleaner to help with the chores. The child labour laws are pretty relaxed in Australia. Small hands can clean in all the tight spaces between the cupboards.

 

Lions

I've not written about the British and Irish Lions tour of South Africa yet, even though it's now over That's because I haven't been watching the matches live and I have been terrified that someone will spoil the results for me. I watched the last test match yesterday, it was amazing! What a great game, what a great team! And I am thrilled with the result of "operation lion" on a domestic level too - I managed to get through all three tests without knowing the score beforehand! The matches were only on a subscription cable channel over here. I managed to find someone at work who's brother-in-law was willing to record the games for me. They were recorded on the Saturday, and passed to me on the Tuesday. During those four days I avoided Facebook and all the rugby news websites. The fact that no-one over here cares helped, although if anyone had found out that I cared then I'm sure my pleasure would have been ruined.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, the Lions is an invitation rugby union side made up of the best players from England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland. Every few years they tour another rugby nation in a season which usually culminates in a best-of-three test series. I find it wonderful because after four years of fighting each other, it's a chance to stand alongside my Scottish, Welsh and Irish friends and support the same team for once. Anyway, that's it for another four years. We're enemies again now

Running up a hill

On Sunday I ran in the "Balmoral Burn", a charity race up a hill. It's not a long race, but it is a very steep hill. I entered because it's only round the corner from me and some of the money goes to the place where I work. And because there was a dog race.

It was a proper race! You had a number on your chest, and an electronic tag on your ankle so they could work out your exact time. In training I always had to stop for a breather half way up because just when you are running out of puff, it gets a little bit steeper and this can be the end of even the most hardened athlete (apparently). I figured that adrenaline and cheering crowds would get me through this troublesome bump on the day. It turned out that there wasn't much adrenaline, it was over so quick! I did it in just under two and-a-half minutes. The last thirty seconds of which were very sore. I'm a bit disappointed with my time; I started off too slow, at the back. If I did it again I'd also consider warming up, and not eating an apple shortly before.

Watching the wheelchair athletes climb was humbling. They had to zig-zag back and forth across the road. Their arms must have been burning. One guy used his electric wheelchair which, call me cynical, seemed to be more a factor of battery-charge and tire-grip.

Anyway, we're here for the dogs so lets see some photos.

Accidental Coastal Skipper

A couple of weeks ago I took a sailing course and accidentally became a coastal skipper. I had intended to do a course that would qualify me as an inshore skipper - if I passed I would be allowed to take a boat out on the harbour or within an enclosed inshore area. So I booked myself onto a five day course. In hindsight five days did seem like a long time for an inshore potter-round-the-bay course. When I turned up on the first morning we were handed an itinerary which had us sailing straight out of Lake Macquarie and up the coast to Newcastle. (No, not that Newcastle, the other one.) We were then to sail back to Sydney. Then back up to Lake Macquarie via Pittwater. At night time. I swallowed hard. This was not what I expected. I carefully explained to the instructor that he should expect me to be at the lower end of the class of three students.

It turned out to be a wonderful week. Very hard, very challenging, but a lot of fun. Dolphins followed us on several occasions. We tied up at the fishmarkets in Sydney and brought fresh prawns for breakfast. I can now plot an overnight course, identify a dredger by it's navigation lights, plan an entry into a busy port and do a three point turn in a busy marina. I passed!

Sailing offshore is fun, but on the East coast of Australia you are limited to going up (North) or down (South), turning round and then sailing back again. There are beaches and cliffs and sunsets, but very few corners. In contrast, sailing offshore in Scotland involves weaving erratically inbetween islands, sticky-out mainland bits and wrecks. It's the difference between an athletics track and a cross-country run.