It's probably all gone now, this was back at the beginning of April. I went snowboarding for the first time in ages - I didn't go at all in 2010. Thankfully it was like riding a bike, to the extent that I hadn't forgotten. And that you wear a helmet. When you got the the foot of the mountain and had to make it over the slushy puddles through a combination of momentum and luck it was also a little bit like surfing. The other bit that was like surfing was that the temperatures hit 28 degrees on the slopes! Snowboarding in a t-shirt was a new and novel experience, hampered by the fact that is was still cold high up the mountains so as much time was spent adding and removing layers as was spent snowboarding. Unfortunately, whenever I fell over there was a slushy-splash rather than a snowy-crunch. But look at those views ...
In an effort to distract myself from the heat I have been swimming today. Twice! I don't think I have ever been swimming twice in one day before in my life! Once straight before church, and once straight after, in the dark. Spooky, but fun. I never went swimming after church in Edinburgh; I used to go to Starbucks for a coffee and a bun.
Also today, I finally got around to putting together a couple of snowboard videos from my trip to New Zealand earlier this year. Just thinking about it dropped the temperature slightly. It's not what you call extreme footage - I can't go fast and film at the same time! I'm pretty impressed I stayed upright as much as I did! Watch out for the bit where I fall into a big hole ...
I forgot I hadn't written about this. A month or so ago I went for the weekend down to Albury, on the New South Wales / Victoria border to see what Australian snow was like. Albury is about two thirds of the way from Sydney to Melbourne. A long way. I went with my friend Nathan to stay with our friend Skekeeb and his wife Sadiya. My mission was also to show them snow, since neither of them had ever seen it. Ever.
Unfortunately this is what they got.
Turns out that snowboarding in Australia is very much like snowboarding in Scotland. It is an exercise in survival and route finding. I have never been so wet on a mountain before, indeed I have never been on slopes that remained open only until lighting hit one of the lift pylons.
We hired snowchains. Yes! But I wasn't allowed to fit them - the hire guy insisted on doing it. That is my defense, because when I had to take them off myself I got into a complete muddy, oily, frustrated tangle because I hadn't seen how they went on. I eventually declared in a huff that there was nothing for it, we would have to take the wheels off. But I figured it out eventually.
Minus two-hundrend points though. Being generous. But despite the cold and the wet and the dramas, Skekeeb and Sadiya seemed to enjoy themselves. At least now they have a healthy respect for snow.
I'm a bit busy here at the moment, so I thought I'd clear out the left-over New Zealand photos. Particularly the ones with the, um, helicopter in. Did I mention the helicopter? I've always wanted to go heli-snowboarding, and this year I saved my pennies and joined a trip to the Harris mountains where I spent a day being lifted onto precarious ridges covered in pristine powder.
I now have massive carbon-guilt. I'll need to get a worm-farm or something to make up for my extravagant day of selfish aviation-fuel saturated pleasure. But at least I have some great photos, and even better memories!
I'm in New Zealand. The scenery is stunning, although you'll have to wait until I get back for the photos. In the meantime I have been thinking about the social science and gender politics of fitting snowchains. It's best explained with a quiz...
SNOWCHAIN SCORING
Add up your score to see if you are an awesome man (or a spectacular girl)!
+1 have heard of snowchains
+1 know what snowchains are
+1 know how to fit snowchains
+1 know which wheels to fit snowchains on
+1 have a set of snowchains
+1 have actually fitted snowchains
+2 snowchains still attached at the top of the mountain
+2 after fitting your own snowchains you help another man fit his snowchains
+3 whilst his wife and two children stand watching the snowchain drama
+1 a man asks for help opening the box his snowchains came in
+2 you break open the snowchain box for him using your snowboard multitool
-1 you need to read the snowchain instructions whilst standing in front of a wheel
+1 you take less than five minutes to fit your snowchains
-2 you take longer than thirty minutes to fit your snowchains
+1 you get a little bit of mud on your face whilst fitting your snowchains
-2 you get a significant quantity of mud on your face, arms, knees and driver's seat whilst fitting your snowchains
-2 you have a pair of luminous green gardening gloves which were purchased soley for snowchain duties
+1 your snowchains lift out of the snowchain box beautifully untangled because you took time and care when you put them away
+8 when removing snowchains you find you don't need to roll the car forward slightly (NB this would be a fluke!)
-3 when removing snowchains you roll the car forward, get distracted and drive off leaving them in the road
-2 strangers driving in the opposite direction point out that one of your snowchains is coming loose
-4 strangers driving in the opposite direction point out that you only
have one snowchain fitted
I scored twelve today!!! I reckon I could get a twenty by the end of the week. I don't often quantify things like this, but I was thinking that an exciting potential wife/partner/girlfriend type person should be able to score at least ten. Maybe eight if they were willing to practise and six if they had other overwhelming positive attributes I was encouaged to take into account.
Since they've realised that the Brits are dominant when it comes to the 'sitting down sports', Australian TV seems to be focusing exclusively on women's olympic softball. This seems like a good time to update my blog with holiday photos.
I managed to find some wonderful Southern Hemisphere snow in New Zealand last week. I visited Mount Ruapehu in the North Island which is an amazing mountain that just sits in the middle of a forest, poking up through the clouds. In Europe mountains tend to hang out in bunches (The Alps, the Pyrenees, The Cairngorms, etc.) whereas in New Zealand mountains are often solitary creatures, eking out isolated existences in defiance of the surrounding topography.
In many ways the experience reminded me of boarding in Scotland; the runs aren't that long, the lifts are slow, and are rocks dotted around the pistes. The weather characteristics were similar in that it was impossible to get on the slopes two days in a row. On the other hand there was over 250cm of snow, it's an active volcano and it was a shooting location for the Lord of the Rings. So the comparisons are not all fair.
Hullo. Quick note - I'm on my winter holiday in New Zealand. It's very exciting! I'm snowboarding - on a volcano! Not seen any lava yet, but am using a 'warm climate' board wax just in case. So internet is not my highest priority at the moment. And the keyboard in the hostel here is dodgy; the number three doesn't work, and the number eight. So if you wanted my phone number I'd have to type 04threethree9eighteight317, etc etc. So as you can see i'm probably better off waiting for a decent computer before I can fill you in. Speak soon, have fun without me ...
- Oh look, the three-key worked in the end. Did you notice? Maybe the keyboard is just sticky. Jam or something. (That's why you read this blog, for deep-insight travel journaling.)
Hello. It's been a busy, exhausting week. My planned trip to the Italian alps was amazing, but it was cut short as I had to return home to attend my Grandpa's funeral. It's difficult to get your head around such a mix of happy and sad times, and it's not surprising I feel dazed and confused.
The five friends I took out to the snow turned out to be wonderful, special company, and it was a wrench to leave to fly back to Britain. Looking at their photos from the second part of the week there is a dull sense of regret that I wasn't able to enjoy the rest of the holiday. However spending time with my family in Yorkshire, and in particular hanging out with my cousins, was a valuable experience I would not have missed for anything. I have many happy memories of my Grandpa, and I enjoyed hearing other's recollections. Apparently he used to set the cooker timer when he saw a certain neighbour at the door, so he'd have an excuse to cut the conversation short! I must remember that trick ... We gave him a good send off. He will be missed.
(Forgive the merging of topics - this post intertwines the wonderful and the sorrowful in the same way my week has.)
You'll either understand this or you won't - but during the one or two weeks a year I get to snowboard I am rarely happier. Strapping a plank to your feet and descending a mountain can actually feel like flying, or on rare occasions like falling through feathers. When I think critically I am getting better at it - swing arms, move body first ... on the flat stay on an edge shoulders point in direction of travel, turn head to face slope ... but the delight comes when you don't think and the technique comes naturally in a rhythm that can completely absorb you. I adore snowboarding.
I can share with you two shaky films from my camera which unfortunately ended up looking like super8 movies from long ago! It's not the same as being there, but it makes me proud. It might help you understand when you see me with a far off expression on my face ...
I've just had a great weekend. It's not often I get a proper end-of-working-week weekend, the sort that starts on friday and continues right through to sunday. I was determinded to enjoy it, and planned it down to the hour.
Saturday was another day on the slopes at Glenshee. I drove up with two of my neighbours and we tackled the pistes together, relishing the blue skies and the best snow conditions in years. The tricky run down the side of Glas Maol was open, and I did it twice at the end of the day, experiencing the exposure through every bone and imagining what it would feel like to outrun an avalanche. Returning to the ski center I was thrilled to discover that you could buy Vin Chaud in the cafe. I'm off to Italy in a couple of weeks, but I don't know why I need bother ...
This morning I tried to go to my usual church, but due to the 'week of Christian unity' there was a church-swap that had evaded my attention and we were meeting alongside a nearby congregation in their building. Which turned out to be a lot warmer and I didn't need my extra jumper. Plus we were starting half-an-hour later so I avoided the Minister's suggestion to come inside early to pray and ran away to Beanscene. In the service I got to sit behind a hilarious snotty-nosed two-year-old who had a big yellow spotty hanky she shared with her dad.
I went for lunch afterwards with an old housemate - our first proper reunion in five years. The restaurant ran out of knives.
Then I went shopping and brought some icebreaker gloves. (The only icebreaker clothing I can afford!)
This evening I watched an Icelandic film called Nói albínói. Strange, beautiful, funny and sad. And recommended. I cycled home the long way round.
Then I went shopping and brought some 
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