ianbee: this is instead of getting a dog

Six Years Earlier

I was just randomly looking through some of my old photos and I came across these memories from 2003. They seemed to appropriately match my apocalyptic mood (a result of staying in this evening and watching the DVD of 28 days later). I thought I'd stick them up here now because in 2003 I didn't have a blog and it was such a fantastic experience and I can tease lots of Australian people reading this who won't have any idea about what's going on! You had to be there ...

 

     

  

Esto Fortis Principissa

I needed a get-well-soon gift for a friend who works in the penguin and bandicoot conservation industry. Who better to ask for help than my favourite Scottish heraldic artist?

I bet those two previous sentences have never been written down before, ever! I had some help with the motto, "Toughen Up Princess", from the web's best Latin geeks. As always, a picture is worth a thousand words ...

For the curious the blazon is "set for crest a bandicoot rampant holding a fire poi in its dexter paw, with the shield - on a bend sinister a fairy penguin sejant". There you go.

Wildlife

I really enjoy my annual visit to the Wildlife Photographer of the Year exhibition. I usually go to see it at the Natural History Museum in London around Christmas time, so it was a pleasant surprise to find the exhibition is also held in Sydney. Although the photos are about a quarter of the size of the British ones. Probably to save on postage.

As usual I persuaded someone to come with me and then subjected them to the ritual of choosing their five favourite photos before telling them why their five photos were rubbish and mine were better. No-one has come to see the exhibition with me twice. The lucky chum this year was a guy I used to work with. He started off badly by being an hour late (his computer is his alarm clock and he had set the volume to mute) then proceeded to choose a mushroom as his favourite photo. A mushroom.

To be honest there were too many swans this year. It was all swans and snow-leopards (not in the same photo). And no penguins at all, not even a chick. Despite the lack of flightless birds, it was great. I really liked this photo of a fox pouncing on a mouse (mouse: "what the ****!!") and this snow-leopard coming to getcha ...

Clicking around the website I found out that you can hire the exhibition! What an ideal birthday present or surprise gift. How wonderful to come home from work one day to find the Wildlife Photographer of the Year exhibition in your garage. I highly recommend it.

Unphotographable

There's a great blog I'd like you to check out, Unphotographable is a collection of photos that were never taken. As the writer describes, they document "occasions when I wished I'd taken the picture, or not forgotten the camera, or had been brave enough to click the shutter." It's a great idea. Here's my contribution ...

This is a photo I didn't take whilst sitting in Parammatta park, on the way back from the gym (and Aldi), resting with my shopping (which included a whole bag of red peppers for 50p!) I amused myself by watching a group of swish cyclists. One of them went on ahead and stood on a log in order to get a good photo of the others as they went past. They were instructed to wave, and as they did so one lady lost her balance and crumpled in a heap, then the bike behind crashed into her and soon there was a pile of bicycles and riders on the road, all wheels and arms and spokes and friendly people rushing around trying to untangle bodies and bikes. And everybody in the park was laughing at them and with them ...

There is a crisis brewing tonight. I'm not talking about something on the level of the credit crunch, or the despicable events in Zimbabwe, or global warming. But in it's own small way the fact that Dr Who clashes with Battle of the Choirs is a crisis in the limited, inconsequential arena of telly scheduling. It doesn't really matter tonight because it's only the Christmas special which I've already seen, but future weeks are going to cause dilemmas. 

At the gym this morning the instructor was pretty hyped up about the new episodes. We were all sweating with weights above our heads and she was wittering on about daleks. She asked who was a fan of Dr Who and when no-one else replied I raised a timid hand in support from where I was hiding at the back of the room. "Hooray!" she said, "A fellow nerd!" Everyone turned stared at me, and I looked sheepishly at the floor, suddenly not feeling very cool.

Inner City Snail

From the man who has entertained me with the Little People Art Project and A World of Birds, his new project; Inner City Snail. I can't wait!

Penguin in a Sand Storm

I took my annual trip to the Wildlife Photographer of the Year exhibition at the Natural History Museum early this year. My visit usually falls between Christmas and New Year and I have to try and smuggle various family Christmas presents through security. This year it coincided with a visit to London in the autumn, and I persuaded my friend Zareena to come along. No-one ever goes twice with me to see the exhibition. Probably because I make them choose their top five favourite photographs, and I then spend some time carefully deconstructing their choices and explaining why they are wrong.

It wasn't a great year in my (correct) opinion. Polar bears balanced precariously on retreating ice caps seemed to predictably dominate (the 'inconvenient truth' genre of wildlife photography). The photo I can  remember most clearly is Penguin in a Sand Storm by a Swiss guy. Now that is an advert against global warming; a penguin, in a sand storm, in Switzerland. Hang on whilst I turn down my thermostat ...

Zareena was very disappointed with the dinosaur in the entrance hall. She thought it was very small and had to be reminded that last time she saw it she was four and it probably seemed bigger.

Mountain bikes and silver cushions

I recently went to an exhibition. As is often the case in Edinburgh, getting there was an adventure. My route coincided with an urban mountain bike race ...

 

Once past the obstacles I went to find out more about Andy Warhol. There was lots of what you would expect - painted soup cans and such. Unfortunately it was put together so badly I was left chronologically and thematically confused. Actually, 'Thematically Confused' sounds like a great band name! Don't steal it!

The best bit of the exhibition was the room filled with silver helium cushions. They should have filled the entire venue with these cushions and just let us delight in the bouncy fun. Actually there was another good bit, they had a room dedicated to his paintings for children, where all the exhibits were hung three-feet from the ground.

Framers

I really like going to get pictures framed. It only happens twice a year at most, but I try and make the most of the experiences. I enjoy showing off my new treasure to strangers - 'look what I've brought!'. They have to like it, because I'm paying them.

I go to 'Framers' in Brunstfield and it always takes at least two members of staff to help me choose the border and frame. I try and make the decision as epic as possible - it is never straight forward, and there is usually debate, discussion and compromise. Often other customers in the shop chip in too. This week I had helpful comments from a girl who was getting her George Best memorial football match ticket mounted.

So, here is "Because everything is made from small things" by Nigel Peake.

Foggy box

Can you cope with one more Gormley post? Hope so. Last one, I promise. This time last week I was at his exhibition at the Heywood in London. Can you believe that the gift shop didn't sell pencils? Unbelievable.

Blind Light was the title given to the foggy box. It was a very strange experience to be lost indoors, seeking out edges and following shapes, feeling your way around the walls to find the door again. I'm sure at the end of every day, when they turn the fog machine off, they find people cowering in corners like Japanese soldiers found hiding in the jungle fifty years after the war has ended. A bit of jungle isn't necessarily a bad thing though.

Matrices and Expansions consisted of a series of 'inverse sculptures' where the shape of a body was actually formed by the hole left in a matrix of steel fibres. Crystal beings, trapped in washing-up bubbles. Beautifully made, some figures were easy to discern, others came into focus as the intricate webs spun slowly from the ceiling.

Space Station was a vast, precise sculpture balanced delicately in a corner. Its 27-tons making no impression on the ground as it rested on a few sharp points of metal. Formed out of component boxes assembled like random LEGO, each piece was pierced with holes which lined up with amazing precision. The whole object was beautifully engineered; each weld contained within a channeled indent and each edge smooth and straight.

I'm sure you won't have a clue what I'm talking about, but you should still go and see it. There's more pictures on the website.

Back for more

 
 
 

The test of good public art is ...

will it confuse aliens?