ianbee: this is instead of getting a dog

Billy Bragg and me

I've been at Greenbelt Festival this weekend past, helping to run a small photographic exhibition (more later). I was classed as a 'contributor', a title which gave me a purple wristband-ticket, meal vouchers and access to the luxurious 'contributor's lounge', which had proper coffee and board games.

Soon after arriving, I went to the lounge to pick up my contributor's pack, which included my meal vouchers and a festival programme. The lady behind the welcome desk flicked through a pile of envelopes stacked in alphabetical order. "Let me see ... Billy Bragg ... here we are, Ian Braithwaite!"

The first and probably only time I will be legitimately mentioned in the same sentence as Billy Bragg.

Snow in Wellington

Wellington, in New Zealand, doesn't get much snow. You can tell this just by looking at their faces.

 

I spoke to my Wellington friends this morning on Skype. They were all wrapped up warm.

David O'Doherty (feat. Shakira)

My third Edinburgh fringe choice was a safe one. David O'Doherty, a large Irish man with a tiny keyboard. (Minor rude word alert.)

 

 

He told us about a friend who thinks computer games are the modern equivalent of reading a novel. "No they're not", he said. "They're the modern equivalent of throwing a novel through a hoop. The modern equivalent of reading a novel is ... reading a modern novel."

 

 

Anyone for Tennis?

Remember when I used to live in Edinburgh? I used to bore you all with reems of tedious chat about the festival and all the fancy shows I went to. Well don't worry, this year you only have to read three posts. Here's the first.

 

I'm a sucker for Australian or Kiwi novelty bands. This one seemed fun, I took a risk, persuaded three friends to join me, and spent an hour revelling in inappropriate content sung with appropriate harmony. It was a struggle to find some video to share with you! Their songs always seemed to follow the same pattern; an innocuous start, catchy melody, predictable but inoffensive key change, and then out of nowhere a breath-taking side step into inapt hilarity! I loved the one about how the clock in the bedroom says 10:04 and the clock in the kitchen says 10:02. It was called "Time Portal in the Hall". 

Fans of Gladiator or Braveheart should check this out. Fans of Wallace and Gromit click here.

Go Danny!

 

Danny's been at it again. This looks a bit like Waverley Station ... Great stuff, although I prefer the ones where there are plenty of startled onlookers. He cycled past me once.

 

Marble steps

There is a flight of stairs in Edinburgh that has always been a great short-cut from Waverly station to North Bridge. If you exit the station by the Fruitmarket Gallery, the Scotsman steps are almost opposite. The trouble is, they were always a place to sleep for the un-housed. And a run up them was always accompanied by the heady stench of urine. To the extent that I would often see how many steps I could climb whilst holding my breath.

The homeless have had a dramatic upgrade to their quarters. I'm sure they would have preferred a duvet or a mattress, but as consolation, their steps are now cased in an array of the most brilliant, luxurious marble.

Every step is a different shade and hue, there are deepest blues and sparkling greens, royal cream and palatial red. The city has paved a toilet in gold and it is fantastic.

Read the Scotsman article here.

 

Flying over the UK

Kent

Cornwall

Leeds (my home arrowed!)

 

How to draw ...

For summer holiday distraction, allow me to direct your attention to the How To Draw series on the Guardian website.

Each month, a different illustrator is asked to provide guidance on a particular theme.

My particular favourites so far have been How to Draw Penguins, How to Draw Yetis and particularly Simone Lia's How to Draw Bunnies (sample below).

You should also check out some of the reader's efforts.

Maybe my mate Si Smith will soon be asked to contribute towards How to Draw Aliens, How to Draw Footballers, or How to Draw Biblical Characters?

 

Malham Cove

I had a brilliant trip to Malham Cove last weekend. It was hot and sunny, there was ice cream and walking, and a picnic, and more walking, and a gorge to climb and explore, and more walking, and a pub dinner (with chocolate mousse) and then even more walking. We went back to the Cove to experience it at dusk without all the tourists. Just us and the rabbits and a massive spooky cliff face.

Zombie Cat

It's very difficult to keep undead kittens indoors, they will keep running off during full moons.