ianbee: this is instead of getting a dog

Blip

Someone asked me yesterday how many people read this blog. I don't make a habit of looking at the statistics, and I hadn't gone near them for months, so I guessed about 20. Which turned out to be right, although some of those twenty are me! The rest are my either my parents or assorted friends and acquaintances such as Richard, Emma, Harriet, Joelle, Catherine, Matthew, Philippa or Kenny*. There are also several assorted Germans, a friendly Brit living in Spain, some Kiwis and various bored people at work. Then there'll be two people who stumbled onto it via google whilst searching for "dog, sydney, helicopter".

Something happened on Monday. 439 people read my blog. Or at least there were 439 'page views' which is not exactly the same thing, but lets pretend it is. That is a better and less creepy explanation than one person checking my blog 439 times. As you can see from the graph, it's a bit of a blip. What's going on? The snowboarding videos weren't that good, surely?

* if you consider yourself a regular reader please don't be offended if I missed your name off! I decided to respect your anonymity.

Penguin colony

If you have a birthday, and someone gives you five plastic penguins, no matter how much you protest, that's pretty much an instant collection. Whether you like it or not, you are now perched on the top of a slippery slope where people see your penguin colony and think that all you want is more penguins.

 

It doesn't help when someone else gives you an awesome penguin dynamo torch. Just squeeze a stunted, flightless wing for perpetual light ...

Penguins are cool. But that's enough for now. Thanks.

Finger puppets

I have started taking a little group of finger puppets to work with me, for when you really really need the kid to shut up. They are actually going quite well; not as effective as bubbles, but you don't need two hands and there isn't the risk of the bubble bursting in someone's eye and making the situation unredeemable. Although, as I found out the other day, there is a fine line in between uncooperative and over-hyped. The optimal distraction zone is narrow and elusive in the two-year old asthmatic.

Swimming and snowboarding

In an effort to distract myself from the heat I have been swimming today. Twice! I don't think I have ever been swimming twice in one day before in my life! Once straight before church, and once straight after, in the dark. Spooky, but fun. I never went swimming after church in Edinburgh; I used to go to Starbucks for a coffee and a bun.

Also today, I finally got around to putting together a couple of snowboard videos from my trip to New Zealand earlier this year. Just thinking about it dropped the temperature slightly. It's not what you call extreme footage - I can't go fast and film at the same time! I'm pretty impressed I stayed upright as much as I did! Watch out for the bit where I fall into a big hole ...

Too hot to blog

It's too hot to blog. Sydney swelters in sticky, sweaty heat. Various British visitors have puffed their red-sunburnt faces across my threshold over the past few weeks. They run into the sea to cool off, then come home and spread sand throughout my flat. Everything melts. It's too hot to buy food, and too hot to eat. Stormy evening rains bring little relief. My toilet is broken; it still flushes, but half the flush goes over the floor. At least the water is clean.

I can't remember how I survived last summer. I seem to have blocked it out in a form of climatic post-traumatic stress syndrome. There was a fan, and shorts, and ice cubes ... I can't remember anything else.

Apart from the mosquitoes. I remember them well. The first one of the new season arrived the other night, the advance party. A high-pitched whine floats past your ear and you sit blot upright in bed. There's no going back to sleep until it's dealt with. So you stay, back against the wall, watching, frozen as a predator clutching an aerosol can of mosquito-death. And then you see it out of the corner of your eye, flying a lazy figure-of-eight track across the ceiling.

The can says "open all windows and don't re-enter room for ten minutes after application." I believe it, because in impatient times I have re-entered the room and ended up with a headache. So that is why I can often be found spending ten minutes at two in the morning generally tidying up in the lounge and rearranging the cushions on the sofa.

I sympathise with the author of this cartoon ...

All the single ladies

This should entertain you for three minutes. A perfectly crafted nugget of pop, a surreal cover of a great song, and an inspired home-made lo-fi video to boot. Check out the breakfast cereal, and the bit where she excuses the bridge; "don't make me sing this part of the song, the lyrics are so bad ..." Inspired.

A treat

Exciting, slightly nerdy news, I have a new computer! Holly has been superseded (hopefully she will find a good home with my parents, who are still running Windows 95). It was a nice day. I went for a picnic, then a walk. Then a coffee. Then went to catch the ferry home, and happened to walk past the Apple store ... actually it was all planned. And I had an encouraging friend with me just in case I lost my nerve. I spent the picnic rehearsing the pros and cons with her. Some people can only ever see the positive side of life; these are good people to take with you when buying expensive treats.

Anyway. I now have Holly2. We made sure she saw the sights on the way home.

 

 

 

My trip home reminded me of the story about the man who found a penguin in the street. He brought it to the police station but the sergeant was busy and suggested the man take the penguin to the zoo. The next day the same policeman passed the man in the street, who was walking alongside the penguin. Both the man and the penguin had sunglasses on and were holding ice-creams. "I thought you were taking him to the zoo!" the surprised policeman exclaimed. "I did, and he loved it," the man replied, "so today we're going to the beach."

The Basin

Last weekend was my birthday and I had a great time! I went with some friends to a campground called "The Basin" which is about an hours drive away, plus a twenty minute boat trip. You head up to Palm Beach, and then hop across the bay to a secluded resort with soft grass, warm water, sandy beaches, cold showers, barbecues, and the usual funny-shaped Australian wildlife.

 
I was thrilled that such a good group came together - including two babies! Babies are always good for a laugh. You can watch them roll around knocking things over. It was halloween and we didn't escape the trick-or-treating, even whilst camping. Packs of mini ghosts and pumpkins roamed the area with their parents. Some were actually  handing out sweets, which was a welcome twist on the tradition.

 

One tough aussie girl turned up with only a plastic sheet and a sleeping bag for shelter. She lay down on the ground and was lucky she didn't get her face eaten off by possums in the night. At the other extreme, one camping-phobic friend emerged from her tent in the morning and, after observing breakfast conversation, wondered aloud if camping was the only situation when you didn't ask "how did you sleep?", rather, "did you sleep?"

Boat-bridge-helicopter

See that little sailing boat, on the left, just going under the bridge? I'm on it! Actually I was at the helm! Coordinating the intersection of boat-bridge-helicopter took some doing, I can tell you ...