Badges

I came across this website a while ago. A bunch of scientists, who are into 'science and badges', decided to award themselves badges. Probably because no-one else will. There are some brilliantly funny ones - go and look at them now before reading any further. (The rest will make more sense if you do.)

I liked the idea, so on a recent rainy day (goodness knows there's enough of them at the moment) I awarded myself some badges, then I drew them. I might get them sewn onto a jumper. That would be cool.

Maybe, if you're inspired, you could leave a comment saying what badge you would award yourself. I will design the person who leaves the best suggestion their very own badge. Go on, have a think!

 

Has a job that impresses women
(Works as a neonatal nurse)

Has a job that impresses men
(Works in ambulances)

Owns at least three power tools
(Drill, jigsaw and plane)

Doesn't panic if asked to bake a cake
(Particularly good at muffins)

Makes great compilation CDs
(Finely crafted and bristling with innovative track selections)

Plays bass - level IV
(4 string guitar, 5 string guitar, fretless guitar and double bass)

Has demolished a wall - level II
(Wall was in own house)

Has been trained to escape from helicopters underwater - level I
(Skill has not yet been tested)

Comments

[dave 'not-a-learner-anymore' martin]

how about a "i was mocked on a blog but rose despite the humiliation to triumph in the end" badge??!!

[Emma]

How about a 'I don't just read blogs, I leave comments' badge. That's only my first suggestion.

[just a girl]

Hmmm. I think I would give myself either the Very Full of Random Information badge or the Over Thinker badge as the over thinking creates the angst :)

[Frau Knowles (silent K you silly Germans)]

Dave - did you pass???

(sorry ian for using your blog as a message board)

[ianbee]

You're not going to win with that entry Catherine.

[Anna]

How about the 'I can pee on a campfire badge'?

Being female, that is actually quite an achievement.

And I think we'd all be interested to see if you can come up with a picture for that...! ;-)

[Kenny Robertson]

'Accidentally asked a girl on a bus out on a date whilst already going out with someone else'

[ianbee]

I remember that. I had to rescue you.

[Heth]

I think I would award myself the 'able to make crises out of average days' badge... I still do you know Ian.
Or alternatively the 'sigh - the world is against me' badge.
And on a lighter note the 'not slapping people who say wow-when-you-sign it's-so-beautiful when in reality I want to scream - you have no flipping clue what I just said with my hands' badge.
Or even better the 'not hitting people who say - sign language isn't universal?' badge.

[ianbee]

I need to explain, dear reader, that Heth is a qualified sign language interpreter.

Verity offers ...

"If I told you what I did as a job I'd have to kill you....!"

"possible secret spy"

"able to make a dress"

... she couldn't leave the comment herself as she is actually a spy and didn't want to be traced. And it wasn't a dress, it was pyjamas.

[just a girl]

another...

'Can lift heavy things and amaze the boys'

[si]

er how about an 'i've met rolf harris' badge...
or an 'i can draw a bit' badge...
or the 'i built myself a life-size dalek' badge...?

[Louise]

"carried a china teapot for 12 miles round Coldstream" badge
"carried a pot with 8 pints of homemade soup in it 2 miles across Edinburgh" badge
"cycled 2 miles with a bucket of horse-manure" badge

And I don't just move strange things (no car!)

"hurt my knee at Flodden" badge (you didn't think I was that old)
"danced down Lauder High Street in broad daylight (sober)" badge
"met and interviewed famous rugby player when he was 7" badge (name of player available on request. I wanted to guess if he would ever captain Scotland, guessed right.)

[ianbee]

Mmmm. Some of these are going to require very intricate and detailed badge drawing to get the whole story across.

[Matthew]

I've spent several days cogitating on this and would like to submit the following entries:

1. Survived salmonella poisoning without a flushing toilet.

2. Has an African tribal name.

3. Can complete the Metro Sudoku in the time it takes the number 23 bus to go from the bus stop near my flat to my office (approximately 10 minutes on a good day).

4. Amazing daytime bladder capacity (16 hours between widdles).

Thankuverramuch.

[Matthew]

A late entry:

The badge for being....

..."More Excited Than Really Necessary About Seeing Arcade Fire And The Killers At T In The Park But Still Sad That Ian Couldn't Come As I Know He Would Have Loved It. Oh Well."

[ianbee]

Dear Matthew,

can I in return offer the badge for being ...

"Pretty satisfied about not going to T in the Park since it rained all weekend and loads of people got their cars stuck in the mud and never actually got to the site, but thanks for asking me anyway"

PS I think you need to hydrate more. Oliguria is not the same as having a large bladder capacity.

PPS What's your tribal name then?

PPPS Is it an easy-level Sudoku?

[Matthew]

No, you can't return it because we got the bus there and it didn't rain. And The Killers were very very very very good.

The specific non-peeing incident involves queuing and then being right at the front for U2 at Hampden.

My tribal name is Ojokotau, which means one who gives everything in the language of the Iteso in Eastern Uganda.

Yes, its usually very easy.

[ianbee]

So Ojokotau means gullible then?

[Matthew]

That hurts. That really really hurts.

[ianbee]

The badge competition is over. I won't have a chance to draw the winning badges immediately - but thank you everyone who entered. You all deserve badges. Big ones.

There's nothing to stop you coming up with new ideas though ...