ianbee: this is instead of getting a dog

Bunting

My friends dedicated their new baby the other week. They bravely opted for a open air celebration, and unoficially took over a corner of my local park and covered it in cake. There were three competing banana loafs. Mine stood out amongst the others for it's use of dark chocolate and its just-out-of-the-oven gooey warmth.

For the actual dedication bit we all formed a circle around the family and surrounded them with bunting, on which we had written prayers for their health and happiness. At this moment a passing rider fell off their horse in the distance. This created a minor distruption witnessed by a portion of the circle - resulting in something in the order of 120 degrees of shocked gasps.

Blackberry picking and LEGO pizza

Had a massive, monster blackberry picking session yesterday, down by the canal. And the day before too, near a quarry. I have five boxes in the freezer and am anticipating a winter of crumble followed by a spring of cake and a summer of smoothies. That's how it worked out this year anyway!

I washed each one under the tap and found spiders, little worms and many flies. All gone now. I also found two thorns in my thumb today, both were removed with a sterile needle.

 

 

 

 

Other news - did you know that they make LEGO pizza? I have so so much to tell you. I can't believe this made it to the top of the list. It's just because my brain goes fuzzy after work.

While we're talking about food, the second series of The Great British Bake Off has started. Last year it was my telly highlight. It's sublime viewing - funny, sad, educational and nutritious. Next week it's biscuits. I am totally excited to the point of distraction. I have to go now ...

 

Billy Bragg and me

I've been at Greenbelt Festival this weekend past, helping to run a small photographic exhibition (more later). I was classed as a 'contributor', a title which gave me a purple wristband-ticket, meal vouchers and access to the luxurious 'contributor's lounge', which had proper coffee and board games.

Soon after arriving, I went to the lounge to pick up my contributor's pack, which included my meal vouchers and a festival programme. The lady behind the welcome desk flicked through a pile of envelopes stacked in alphabetical order. "Let me see ... Billy Bragg ... here we are, Ian Braithwaite!"

The first and probably only time I will be legitimately mentioned in the same sentence as Billy Bragg.

Snow in Wellington

Wellington, in New Zealand, doesn't get much snow. You can tell this just by looking at their faces.

 

I spoke to my Wellington friends this morning on Skype. They were all wrapped up warm.

David O'Doherty (feat. Shakira)

My third Edinburgh fringe choice was a safe one. David O'Doherty, a large Irish man with a tiny keyboard. (Minor rude word alert.)

 

 

He told us about a friend who thinks computer games are the modern equivalent of reading a novel. "No they're not", he said. "They're the modern equivalent of throwing a novel through a hoop. The modern equivalent of reading a novel is ... reading a modern novel."

 

 

Anyone for Tennis?

Remember when I used to live in Edinburgh? I used to bore you all with reems of tedious chat about the festival and all the fancy shows I went to. Well don't worry, this year you only have to read three posts. Here's the first.

 

I'm a sucker for Australian or Kiwi novelty bands. This one seemed fun, I took a risk, persuaded three friends to join me, and spent an hour revelling in inappropriate content sung with appropriate harmony. It was a struggle to find some video to share with you! Their songs always seemed to follow the same pattern; an innocuous start, catchy melody, predictable but inoffensive key change, and then out of nowhere a breath-taking side step into inapt hilarity! I loved the one about how the clock in the bedroom says 10:04 and the clock in the kitchen says 10:02. It was called "Time Portal in the Hall". 

Fans of Gladiator or Braveheart should check this out. Fans of Wallace and Gromit click here.

Go Danny!

 

Danny's been at it again. This looks a bit like Waverley Station ... Great stuff, although I prefer the ones where there are plenty of startled onlookers. He cycled past me once.

 

Marble steps

There is a flight of stairs in Edinburgh that has always been a great short-cut from Waverly station to North Bridge. If you exit the station by the Fruitmarket Gallery, the Scotsman steps are almost opposite. The trouble is, they were always a place to sleep for the un-housed. And a run up them was always accompanied by the heady stench of urine. To the extent that I would often see how many steps I could climb whilst holding my breath.

The homeless have had a dramatic upgrade to their quarters. I'm sure they would have preferred a duvet or a mattress, but as consolation, their steps are now cased in an array of the most brilliant, luxurious marble.

Every step is a different shade and hue, there are deepest blues and sparkling greens, royal cream and palatial red. The city has paved a toilet in gold and it is fantastic.

Read the Scotsman article here.